"When
asked about gay marriage, Donald Trump said, 'It's not my thing.' Trump went on
to say marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman he will replace in
six years." –Conan O'Brien
"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said he wants to
become the first Iranian to go into outer space. He wants to study the effects
of anti-gravity on anti-Semitism." –Jay Leno
"Monopoly is getting a big makeover. They want to make the
Monopoly game more modern and bring it up to date to reflect our current
culture. Like, in the new version of Monopoly, the banker never goes to
jail." –Jay Leno
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