"The
Consumer Electronics Show is happening in Las Vegas and the most amazing
gadgets are being talked about. One of the gadgets this year is a fork that
tells you when you're eating too fast. In a related story today, Chris Christie was
spotted yelling at his fork to mind its own business." –Conan O'Brien
"Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their
kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to do on
weekdays." –Stephen Colbert on putting armed guards in schools
"Abraham
Lincoln, our 16th president, has never been hotter. 'Lincoln' received 12 Oscar
nominations. 'Lincoln' also received a nomination for best hat." –David Letterman
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