"Republicans and Democrats are working on a new bill to
streamline the healthcare system. It will reduce the cost of mammograms and
prostate exams. But don't worry. They'll still be free at the airport." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama's
half-brother is running for political office in Kenya. Donald Trump has already
accused him of being born in the United States." –Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday Supreme Court
Justice Clarence Thomas spoke during a court session for the first time in
seven years. He never speaks and he finally spoke. It's already being called
the best 'that's what she said' joke ever." –Conan O'Brien
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