The other 50 percent think he would make an awful president

"Levi and the publisher already have a title worked out for the book. It’s called 'I Need Money' by Levi Johnston.” –Jimmy Kimmel

"Fifty percent of Americans think Donald Trump would make a terrible president. The other 50 percent think he would make an awful president." –David Letterman



"Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama’s birth certificate to make sure that it’s real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump’s hair." –Jimmy Fallon



John Hulse photography

That's not the Donald Trump I know

"According to a CNN poll, Trump nearly doubled his support from March. Actually, he just combed his March numbers over his current ones." –Conan O'Brien



"The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. That seems a little high." –David Letterman



"Insiders say that Trump is running for president as a publicity stunt. That's not the Donald Trump I know." –David Letterman 

We told everyone Tina Fey was coming...

"On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'" –Conan O'Brien 



"Donald Trump says he will run for president. He'll have to find a cabinet position for that thing on his head." –David Letterman



"Donald Trump says that if he's elected president, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant." –David Letterman



An American with a Disability (poem)

An American with a Disability

Dave’s life

was

a hard one.

epilepsy…

Grand Mal Seizures…

sometimes

his beautiful

face

was smashed

to pieces.

a few times

he was battered

unrecognizable

and covered

in blood.

Dave taught me

what

the term

“healing”

really meant.

one of Dave’s

many horror stories

was that he was

mistakenly arrested

after having a seizure

and being shipped

by the police

to a doctor

50 miles away

for treatment

he didn’t need,

and the police left him

stranded there

without

a ride home.

Dave remembered

waking up

in the hospital

and screaming

out loud,

“Take these damn

handcuffs off

of me,

I am not

a criminal!”

He said the policeman

was too busy

flirting with a nurse

to come over

right away

and take the

cuffs off.

Making this horror

even worse

was that he was transported

with his hands cuffed behind

his back

while his chest

was pressed against

the seat of the squad car

for the entire hour long

journey.

Worse again, was that

he had just had a pacemaker

implanted in his chest

to reduce his seizures.

The police

told Dave's

mom that

he was coherent

all the

way down

to Indianapolis.

If Dave was coherent

like they said,

the first

words out of

his mouth

would have been,

“Please take these

handcuffs off of me,

I am not a criminal!

I have epilepsy!”

Dave Looper died alone in his apartment on or about January 23-24 2002


poem from John Hulse Collected Poems (1985-2015) volume 1