I saw the Phillie Phanatic with his head off, and I freaked out (Somebody owes Saddam Hussein an edible arrangement)

May 2022

“During a speech in Dallas on Wednesday, former President George W. Bush misspoke while talking about Russia’s war in Ukraine, referring to it as ‘a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq.’ Maybe Bush is going to start admitting to everything he’s been holding back: [imitating Bush] ‘Also, I just want to say: My grandkids are the ones who paint the watercolors; Dick Cheney is a Terminator sent from the future; and there are no human-animal hybrids. I saw the Phillie Phanatic with his head off, and I freaked out.’” —Stephen Colbert

“And we’ve actually acquired Dubya’s PowerPoint on how elections work. Step one: get fewer votes than your opponent. Step two: have the supreme court hand it to you.” —Stephen Colbert

“Iraq too, heh? That is a refreshingly lighthearted confession to war crimes. I guess we should call off the search for WMDs at this point. Somebody owes Saddam Hussein an edible arrangement.” —Stephen Colbert

“Bush accidentally admitting the invasion of Iraq was ‘wholly unjustified and brutal’ left me stunned. I really am certain that clip was designed in a lab to melt the brains of anyone who was alive in 2003. Back then if you had called the invasion of Iraq brutal and unjustified, the Bush administration and Fox News would’ve spent an entire week calling you a traitor and anytime you went to the airport the TSA would’ve given you the full cavity search.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like he’s thinking about it all the time, and it just popped out (I hate when I mix up my unprovoked invasions)

May 2022

“During a speech in Dallas on Wednesday, former President George W. Bush misspoke while talking about Russia’s war in Ukraine, referring to it as ‘a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq.’ That slip of the tongue has me feeling a little nostalgic. Dubya and I, for about 10 years, had so many good times together back at the old ‘Colbert Report.’ I made so much fun of him, and he gave he so many reasons to do that.” —Stephen Colbert

“Jiminy Christmas! The one phrase he definitely should never utter for the rest of his life. It’s like he’s thinking about it all the time, and it just popped out.” —Stephen Colbert

“Oof. That’s like your wife asking if you’re hungry and saying, ‘I could cheat. I mean eat. I could eat with my mistress.’” —Seth Meyers

“I hate when I mix up my unprovoked invasions.” —James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It takes a lot of education to make us this stupid (you know he’s juicing)

March 2022

“It’s like a nesting doll of bad. This has been a weekend of indiscriminate shelling that has driven more than 1.5 million Ukrainians to flee the country. That number would be higher if Russia abided by its own announced ceasefires. Over the weekend, Russian forces continued to pummel cities with rockets and mortars despite the announcement of corridors for civilian evacuations. It’s like Putin’s competing in the evil Olympics against himself, and because he’s Russian, you know he’s juicing.” —Stephen Colbert

“In response to brutal Russian tactics, the US and its European allies have discussed a ban on Russian imports of oil. Take that, Putin! We’re not going to buy our gas from a war criminal. We’re going to buy it from the good guys: Saudi Arabia.” —Stephen Colbert

“Such a ban would have a cost, at a time when the average US gas price is at an all-time high of $4.104 a gallon. OK, that stings, but a clean conscience is worth a buck or two. I’m willing to pay $4 a gallon. Hell, I’ll pay $15 a gallon, because I drive a Tesla.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”