Somehow this is all your fault (the same deal as the cast of Friends)

In a recent interview Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said that American politics is becoming meaner and meaner. After hearing this a top Republican said Daschle makes a good point for a guy who's ugly and probably gay. --Conan O’Brien 5/12/2004

Today defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld, there's a cheery fellow, now Rumsfeld told senators that the Geneva Convention on prisoners rights applies in Iraq but not for prisoners held in Guantanamo Bay. When asked what the difference was Rumsfeld said nobody has pictures of Guantanamo Bay.  --Conan O’Brien 5/12/2004

I got some television news this week. The miniseries Jesus became one of the first shows ever to beat an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It's a big deal in television. And immediately afterwards Jesus renegotiated his contract and demanded the same deal as the cast of Friends. --Conan O’Brien 5/17/2000

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

There's a lot of things I'd rather probe than Mars (He demanded the same deal as the cast of Friends)

McDonald's announced they would stop supersizing their french fries sometime in the next few months. The decision has already brought some health benefits. Fat people are running to McDonald's. --Conan O’Brien 3/5/2004

An employee at NASA's Mission Control announced he's bored with his job and has decided to become a porn actor. The NASA employee said, “What can I say. There's a lot of things I'd rather probe than Mars.” --Conan O’Brien 3/5/2004

I got some television news this week. The miniseries Jesus became one of the first shows ever to beat an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It's a big deal in television. And immediately afterwards Jesus renegotiated his contract and demanded the same deal as the cast of Friends. --Conan O’Brien 5/17/2000

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

contestants receive an additional lifeline where they can stall for time by doing a bong hit (Jesus renegotiated his contract)

I got some television news this week. The miniseries Jesus became one of the first shows ever to beat an episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. It's a big deal in television. And immediately afterwards Jesus renegotiated his contract and demanded the same deal as the cast of Friends. --Conan O’Brien 5/17/2000

Speaking of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, ABC announced that next season they're gonna be producing a version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire for college students. Apparently it's a lot like the regular show but contestants receive an additional lifeline where they can stall for time by doing a bong hit. --Conan O’Brien 5/17/2000

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”