"Signing up for the Army just got a little bit easier. Now, I know what you're thinking, 'I'm too lazy and emotionally fragile for boot camp, plus I'm a felon with a third-grade education. And I'm gay.' Well, good news, in today's Army, it doesn't matter. Except the gay part. According to the Wall Street Journal, the military is adopting a kinder and gentler approach to basic training, in order to improve diminishing recruitment numbers. Among the changes: more sleep and personal time, less running, and best of all, overweight recruits don't have to skip dessert. Hey, kids, boot camp is now easier than fat camp." --Jon Stewart
"Californians selected state Treasurer Phil Angelides as their the candidate for the upcoming gubernatorial election, setting up a much anticipated Schwarzenegger/Angelides contest in November. Incidentally, Schwarzenegger Angelides is my porn name." --Jon Stewart
"I do want to begin with an update on our Vice President, Dick Cheney. He didn't shoot anyone else, but he is a man a heartbeat away from both the presidency and one count of manslaughter." --Jon Stewart
http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”

No comments:
Post a Comment