He's nothing if not fair (rolled it up and spanked him with it)

As of a couple of hours ago, Donald Trump hasn't tweeted about his new grandson. He's waiting to see the birth certificate. He's nothing if not fair. –Jimmy Kimmel

“On my 11th day of physical distancing at home, I have been reading how Shakespeare and Sir Isaac Newton came up with some of their greatest ideas while under quarantine during the plague. That’s great – so far all I’ve discovered is you can slide a laundry basket down the stairs. But congratulations to them.” —Jimmy Kimmel

The only way that Trump could be happier with the Mueller Report is if a porn star rolled it up and spanked him with it. --Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Maybe now, I can finally get a gynecologist to see me (It was like the Sesame Street of hate)

"President Obama won one of the great — they're calling it — the 'great legislative victories of the last 50 years' last night. He won health care reform approval to extend coverage to millions of uninsured Americans, or as the Republicans are calling it 'Armageddon.' Personally, I think it's great. Maybe now, I can finally get a gynecologist to see me." –Jimmy Kimmel

The only way that Trump could be happier with the Mueller Report is if a porn star rolled it up and spanked him with it. --Jimmy Kimmel

"Anti-health care reform protesters outside the Capitol were downright vicious. They yelled the N-word at black legislators, they yelled the F-word at gay legislators, they yelled the W-word at Latino legislators. It was like the Sesame Street of hate." –Jimmy Kimmel

As of a couple of hours ago, Donald Trump hasn't tweeted about his new grandson. He's waiting to see the birth certificate. He's nothing if not fair. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How many bombshells can Americans take in one day? (I’m pretty sure that coating is deck sealant)

July 2021

“I am tentatively celebrating the breaking news that New York prosecutors have charged the Trump Organization and its chief financial officer, Allen Weisselberg, with a ‘sweeping and audacious illegal payment scheme’ of tax-related crimes. I want to join you in that feeling, but I’ve been hurt too many times. First I fell in love with the Mueller report, then I bounced back with the first impeachment, then I gave love one more chance with the other impeachment, and I just hurt, you know?” —Stephen Colbert

“The 15-count indictment charged the Trump Organization and Weisselberg, who has worked for the family for over 50 years, with a scheme to defraud, grand larceny, criminal tax fraud and falsifying business records, including $1.7m in illegal payments. But all the experts were saying that these charges, unlike the former president, seem kinda thin. Trump also wasn’t personally charged in the filing. Nothing sticks to this guy. I’d call him Teflon Don but I’m pretty sure that coating is deck sealant.” —Stephen Colbert

“Still, this is a moment of reckoning. It’s like the end of The Avengers, when Tony Stark snaps his fingers and destroys Thanos’s … accountant. Will it work? Maybe. Weisselberg’s former daughter-in-law, who likened Trump and his accountant’s relationship to Batman and Robin. They’re a team. They’re not best friends. Hold on, Batman and Robin aren’t best friends?! How many bombshells can Americans take in one day. I don’t understand.” —Stephen Colbert

“We here at the Late Show will stay on this story as it continues to disappoint us. But I do have a glimmer of hope for a sliver of consequences on the January 6 insurrection, as Nancy Pelosi announced an investigation into the attack headed by a ‘select committee’, which really sounds like the store brand. But still good, I love ‘select committee’ lemon cookies.” —Stephen Colbert

“On Thursday, the House speaker named seven prominent Democrats and one Republican, the embattled congresswomen Liz Cheney, to the committee. OK, so the committee has seven Democrats to grill the seditionists, and if that doesn’t work, they have one Cheney to shoot them in the face.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”