"President Bush gave
the commencement address at the Merchant Marine Academy. While he was there a
cadet, who took six years to graduate, surprised President Bush by giving him a
bear hug. When asked about it, the cadet said, 'President Bush is an
inspiration to everyone who takes six years to graduate.'" --Conan O'Brein
"The government of
Afghanistan has sent a letter to the news stations and all journalists in that
country ordering them to report only favorable news about the government. Now I
know that sounds harsh, but you have to remember they don't have Fox News over
there." --Jay Leno
"Last week Congress
found a topic everybody in any party could grandstand about. Violent video
games were the latest target of Washington's election year ire. The issue is
the video game industry's rating system. Many feel that the 'M' for 'Mature'
rating is too vague in describing content. Not to mention, completely
inaccurate to describe anyone who plays video games. They proposed a
three-tiered system that would start with 'D' for 'Dropout.' 'W' for 'Wastoid' and max out at 'CMB' for 'Child
in Man's Body'" --Jon Stewart
