He is our most important judge right after Simon Cowell (They must work 135,000 times harder than you)

 

"President Bush got back tonight from his very brief trip to Europe. Boy, remember the old days when it used to take longer than two days to visit all of our allies?" --Jay Leno

"Happy Birthday to our governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. 60 years old. You can tell he's getting up there. Remember when he used to say things like, 'I'll be back'? Now he says, 'Ow, my back.'" --Jay Leno

 

"Remember 20 years ago, 'Baby Jessica'? She was the little baby who was rescued after falling in a well. Huge story. She's almost 21 now and will soon be getting a million dollars from the funds set up with donations when she fell down the well. She's getting a million dollars. In a related story, earlier today,  Senator John McCain threw himself down a well." --Jay Leno

"A scary incident yesterday for the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts. Luckily, he's okay. He collapsed to the ground outside his vacation home in Maine. Turns out he had a seizure. At first people thought he had just fallen over from leaning too far to the right. For the young people, do you know who John Roberts is? He is our most important judge right after Simon Cowell." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

on the way home hug a hobo (drunk me vs sober me)

January 2022

“If this pandemic were a movie, it would be Tenet. It’s impossible to understand, and I just wish it would end, which turns out is the beginning.” —Stephen Colbert

“The host also reacted to a subtle shift in public health messaging in recent days, as the US reached record numbers of Covid infections: They’re trying to make us get used to all of this. Dr. Fauci testified on Omicron’s transmissibility on Tuesday: ‘Omicron will infect just about everybody.’ Do you hear that? Being attacked for two years has clearly broken Dr Fauci. (imitating Fauci) ‘Rip off your mask, go to hot yoga, on the way home hug a hobo – I don’t give a vaccinated crap. We’re all doomed.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Dr. Fauci also said that those who have been vaccinated will ‘very likely, with some exceptions, do reasonably well’. There are certain things I don’t want to equivocate on. My life is one of them. You don’t want to hear a skydiving instructor say, ‘Jump from the plane! You will very likely, with some exceptions, do reasonably well.’ According to experts, unvaccinated people are 10 times likelier to be infected with Omicron and 20 times likelier to die. They’re also 50 times likelier to start a fight with a Kroger employee because the Mexican food aisle is in Spanish.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

We haven’t had one of those in days! (Is this the thing?)

“Every time, people have asked, ‘Is this the thing? Surely, this must be the thing.’ And every time, it wasn’t the thing. But here’s the thing: There’s a new thing, and it might be the thing.” --Stephen Colbert

“So the idea that a foreign power like Russia shouldn’t interfere in our elections is the only thing everyone agreed on — everyone but Trump, because he just moved one country over. [Imitating Trump] O.K., no collusion with Russia. O.K. Hello, Ukraine? You up for interfering with our election?” --Stephen Colbert

“It’s historic, high-stakes testimony in Congress from someone with intimate knowledge of Trump’s criminal wrongdoing. We haven’t had one of those in days!” --Stephen Colbert

“This makes Watergate look like Nixon tried to pass an expired coupon at the Kroger.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”