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Showing posts with label Fantasy Football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fantasy Football. Show all posts

Thursday, June 24, 2021

the time he asked if he could legally send Seal Team 6 to rough up Lorne Michaels (Welcome to Guantán-a-lago Spa & Resort)


June 2021

“We’re constantly reminded, even five months after he left office, that Trump’s response to the pandemic was somehow much worse and much crazier than we even knew at the time. Every day we keep hearing new details about his time in office thanks to what seems like a never-ending parade of tell-all books scheduled for publication, each filled with more damning new details about just how much of a sociopath he was. 


The forthcoming book Nightmare Scenario: Inside the Trump Administration’s Response to the Pandemic That Changed History, by Yasmeen Abutaleb and Damian Paletta, two reporters at the Washington Post, which revealed that early in the pandemic, Trump suggested sending infected Americans stuck on cruise ships to Guantánamo Bay. ‘Don’t we have an island that we own?’ he asked the White House Situation Room in February 2020. ‘What about Guantánamo?’ 


Only Trump would refer to Guantánamo Bay as an island that we own. It’s such a reminder that he will always first and foremost be a real estate guy. It would’ve been hilarious watching Trump try to rebrand Guantánamo as a fun place for people to spend a week. [As Trump] ‘Welcome to Guantán-a-lago Spa & Resort, make sure you check out the bay, I’m sure it is full of pigs!’ 


Also, was there like a fantasy football draft, but for the stories each staffer got to tell for their books? [As a member of Trump’s staff] – ‘I can’t decide between the time he wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo, or the time he asked if he could legally send Seal Team 6 to rough up Lorne Michaels.’” —Seth Meyers


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Friday, September 7, 2018

they just sobered up from the Super Bowl (decaying political machines)


The NFL season kicked off tonight with a game between the Atlanta Falcons and the Philadelphia Eagles. And it's perfect timing for the Eagles' fans. 'Cause they just sobered up from the Super Bowl. --Jimmy Fallon

Fantasy Football also began tonight. It's a fun way for people who are bad at real sports to realize that they're also bad at imaginary sports. --Jimmy Fallon

Later this season, too, the NFL will hold a game in Mexico. It's all part of the League's plan to combine as many things that Trump hates as possible. It's really clever. Rosie O'Donnell is doing the halftime show. Jeff Sessions is a referee. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wanna buy some bugs? (a loud and very girlish scream)



Thousands of bugs have been stolen from the Philadelphia Insectarium. Thieves made off with more than 7,000 bugs, including millipedes, rhinoceros roaches, lizards, frogs, snakes, and venomous spiders valued at more than $40,000. I get why people steal, but what's the plan after a theft like this? Unless you live in an ant farm, you walk around the street going, "Wanna buy some bugs?" --Jimmy Kimmel

There's a tweet on the subject, a warning. "If you see this six-eyed sand spider that is highly venomous, let the Philadelphia Insectarium know." Trust me, I'll let them know. I see that freaking thing? I'll let everybody know if I see it, probably with a loud and very girlish scream. --Jimmy Kimmel

The new NFL season kicked off tonight. The Eagles hosted the Atlanta Falcons in a game that also marked, perhaps more importantly, the start of a new Fantasy Football season. Most of the guys I know studied harder for their Fantasy Football draft this year than all of high school and college combined. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

I think you mean re-elected president in 2020 (CTE studies)




Mike Pence is denying speculation that he wants to be elected president in 2020. Pence was like, “I think you mean re-elected president in 2020.” –Jimmy Fallon

Former communications director Anthony Scaramucci wants to turn his time in the White House into a sitcom. Networks say it’s impossible, because sitcoms have to last at least 30 minutes. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems