If you don’t believe me, ask my wife Melatonin (She made a wish, and then deleted the candles)

President Trump today claimed he has a better recollection of his condolence call to the widow of a soldier than she does, pointing to his head and saying quote “one of the great memories of all time.” Trump then added, “If you don’t believe me, ask my wife Melatonin.” –Seth Meyers

​​Amazon is testing a new service that allows couriers to unlock homes and leave packages inside. Learn more about the new service on a future episode of “Dateline.” –Seth Meyers

Happy birthday to Hillary Clinton, who turned 69 today. She made a wish, and then deleted the candles. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I am never gonna hear the end of this (the scariest two minutes of my life)

"Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"On Tuesday night, Mitt Romney's staff briefly published his victory website by mistake. Republicans called it an embarrassing error, while Big Bird called it 'the scariest two minutes of my life.'" –Jimmy Fallon

A woman in Australia just gave birth to a 12-pound baby without any pain meds. Her doctor said, "You were amazing," while the baby was like, "I am never gonna hear the end of this." --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I was not the worst in history. I was the worst in math and science. (the second angriest wife in the state of New York)

"The good news is Hurricane Gustav has been downgraded to a

tropical storm. Again, I don't think President Bush really

understands this stuff. When he heard the levees were fine, he

said, 'Thank God, but how are the Goldbergs? How are they

doing?'" --Jay Leno

"The head of the Federal Aviation Administration … has been arrested on charges of drunk driving. I don't want to say how much the guy drank, but when they pulled him over, he was driving the beverage cart.'" –Jay Leno

 

"Maybe some of you don't know the story, today Eliot Spitzer admitted publicly that he was involved in a prostitution ring, which means Hillary Clinton, is now, only the second angriest wife in the state of New York." --Jay Leno

 

"Hillary Clinton said in a speech this week that President Bush is one of the worst in history. And President Bush was furious, oh man, you see what he said? He said 'I was not the worst in history. I was the worst in math and science.'" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Republicans love it because it just sits there and does nothing (a lot of them had to cancel their Civil War Reenactments)

"The whole Congress has to stay there for the whole weekend. The Tea Party Republicans are especially pi**ed off at this — a lot of them had to cancel their Civil War Reenactments." –Bill Maher

"Some jackass vandalized the Lincoln Memorial. Who hates the Lincoln Memorial? Democrats love it because it honors the man who freed the slaves. And Republicans love it because it just sits there and does nothing." –Bill Maher

"One of the leading Tea Partiers, Congressman Joe Walsh, he famously went on YouTube and wagged his finger at Obama and said, 'Have you no shame, Mr. President?' It turns out he is $117,000 delinquent in his child support. Have you no sense of irony, Mr. Congressman? He had an excuse. He said his kids don't have a child support problem; they have a spending problem." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In three years, the guy went from Urkel to Fonzie (Ernesto Che Guevara)

"On Tuesday, the Republican presidential candidates gathered in Michigan for a debate. The last time there were this many old white dudes in one place, Steve Guttenberg was trying to get them out of a swimming pool in the movie Cocoon." --Seth Meyers

"Communist Cuba paid tribute on Monday to Ernesto Che Guevara, the populist revolutionary and guerrilla fighter, and not, as most college students believe, the founder of Urban Outfitters." --Amy Poehler

   

"Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize. I guess he made some movie about the weather or something. He has had some year. He won an Emmy, an Oscar, and now the Nobel Prize. The only thing he didn't win was president. It's incredible. In three years, the guy went from Urkel to Fonzie."  --Jimmy Kimmel

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans