Wow! What a catch — nobody move! (Get out of the way if you want to live!)

Scientists have invented a way for you to change channels on your TV with gestures. Yeah, it’s great for people who like watching sports completely still. “Wow! What a catch — nobody move! Oh, now we’re watching Lifetime.” –Jimmy Fallon

On Friday, Arnold Schwarzenegger was stopped in Germany by a police officer for riding a bicycle through a train station. Schwarzenegger may have gone unnoticed if he hadn't been frantically ringing the bell and shouting, "Get out of the way if you want to live!" –Jimmy Fallon

Next month Delta will begin opening company spas at certain airports so that employees can get a massage. And if passengers want a massage, they can just leave their keys in their pockets when they go through security. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”