Authorities swept the area, urging residents to remain even calmer (His. Corporate. Donors. Are.)

Everyone’s OK, but this morning, a 6.5-magnitude earthquake hit California’s prime marijuana-growing county. Authorities swept the area, urging residents to remain even calmer. –Conan O’Brien

The oldest woman in Japan died at the age of one hundred fourteen. And as soon as the funeral is over the family plans to sue the makers of the defective bungee cord. --Conan O’Brien 4/5/2005

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The closest I ever came is when I was born (77% disapproval rating!)

"We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman."--Pat Paulsen (1968)

"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."--Pat Paulsen (1968)

I never went bungee jumping. The closest I ever came is when I was born.--Demetri Martin

"Congratulations, Congress! 77% disapproval rating! You may be about to become the English language's most offensive C-word." –John Oliver

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”