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Tuesday, February 8, 2022

relax your body, remain calm and above all – try to stick the landing (Majestic AF)


February 2014

"Did you see the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics today...what an elaborate pageant of flamboyant costumes and choreographed dance numbers all aimed at one theme – no gays allowed." –Bill Maher

"Have you seen what's going on in the hotels in Sochi? They report that the water, if it does come out, is yellow; the toilets don't flush; they say construction workers just wander into you room, which the male figure skating team described as 'heaven.'" –Bill Maher

"They rushed to get the Olympics together there. The hotels are open but they keep finding forgotten little things like handles on the doors, showers with no curtains, floors that are missing. They say if you do fall through a missing floor, here's what you do: relax your body, remain calm and above all – try to stick the landing." –Bill Maher

"Of course, the Russians have their pride, so they are not admitting that any of this is all a big f**k up. They say this is all part of their brilliant plan to make the terrorists think that they've already bombed the place." –Bill Maher

"You gotta feel for the athletes because the events themselves are dangerous enough – flying down hills are breakneck speeds. After a grueling day of doing that, you just want to get back to your room and take a long, hot yellow shower." –Bill Maher

"They are very upfront about the fact that you should have no expectations of privacy if you go there to Sochi. The phones immediately are hacked, your computers are hacked, the rooms are bugged; one hotel – their slogan is 'we’ll leave the mic on for you.'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”




 

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