"Are you folks excited about St. Patrick's Day? It's the day I tell Irish jokes written by Jewish writers." –David Letterman
"We have a new Pope. His name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio. I think I have his spaghetti sauce." –David Letterman
"Tomorrow night at the Vatican is Pope Francis Bobblehead Night." –David Letterman
"Today there was more smoke from the chimney at the Sistine Chapel. They were just burning some pizza boxes." –David Letterman
"Julius Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of March. He was stabbed in the back by someone he thought was his friend. It was like he worked in show business." –Craig Ferguson
"Julius Caesar was romantically involved with Cleopatra for 14 years. But he never asked her to marry him. Cleopatra felt betrayed and spent years whining about it in public. That's why she was known as the 'Egyptian Taylor Swift.'" –Craig Ferguson
"After he dumped Cleopatra, there were rumors that Julius Caesar fathered an illegitimate child by a housemaid. But those rumors turned out to be false. It was actually Caesar's cousin, Julius Schwarzenegger." –Craig Ferguson
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night
of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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