Destroying symbols of oppression is far more American than celebrating them (Barack Obama used to be a Democrat too)

September 2011

"Rick Perry and Mitt Romney squared off at the Republican debate. The only thing they agreed on was 'shampoo, rinse, and repeat.'" –Jay Leno

"Don't they look like two guys waiting to audition for the same part in a soap opera?" –Jay Leno

"Actually, history was made at the Reagan Library last night. I believe it was the first time Michele Bachmann has ever been in a library." –Jay Leno

"The cool thing about the Reagan Library is that they have Reagan's Air Force One plane parked inside. That's about as close to Air Force One as any of them are going to get." –Jay Leno

"Rick Perry used to be a Democrat. But then again, Barack Obama used to be a Democrat too." –Jay Leno

"Rick Perry also defended his claim that Social Security is nothing but a Ponzi scheme. Michele Bachmann jumped on that. She told them flat out, "Hey, it has to be either a Fonzi scheme or a Potsie scheme. There was no ponzi..." –Jay Leno

"Earlier this evening President Obama gave his big jobs speech. So what we had tonight was a guy whose job nobody approves of, giving a speech about jobs that don't exist, to people who don't have any jobs. So it's a real positive, uplifting..." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Carpet matches the drapes/Secretary of Handsome/Dumber than Bush, no lie

September 2011

"Last night at the Republican debate MSNBC put little factoids about the candidates on the screen as they were speaking. For instance, Michele Bachmann: Pet peeve: facts. Gives Jesus the creeps. Has never seen her husband naked. Governor Rick Perry: Dumber than Bush, no lie. Motto: 'Don’t mess with Texes.' In high school voted 'Most likely to execute 200+ people.' Newt Gingrich: Even fatter in real life. Carpet matches the drapes. Favorite color: Donuts." –Conan O'Brien

"Rick Perry said he understands healthcare because his wife is a nurse. He also says he understands terrorism because he watched all the seasons of '24.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Ultraconservative Rick Santorum said he is the son of an Italian immigrant. Immediately after the comment, Santorum had his dad deported." –Conan O'Brien

"Fun fact about Mitt Romney: He would appoint his hair 'Secretary of Handsome.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Fun fact about Rick Perry: In high school, voted most likely to execute 200 people." –Conan O'Brien 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Yard Signs/my TiVo fell asleep/outlaw dancing

September 2011

"The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing." –David Letterman

"The republicans looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river." –David Letterman

"I tried to TiVo the Republican debate and my TiVo fell asleep." –David Letterman

"You could smell Rick Perry's cologne through the TV." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

New Rule: The Quarantine 15 | Real Time with Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Top Ten Ways The United States Postal Service Can Turn Things Around (a stamp that licks back)

September 2011

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways The United States Postal Service Can Turn Things Around"

10. Change name to UPS

9. Invent a stamp that licks back

8. Add wacky sound effects for mailboxes

7. Alter mail trucks to look like Millennium Falcon from 'Star Wars'

6. If your letter isn't delivered in 30 minutes or less, it's free

5. Bedazzled uniforms

4. New hit reality show: 'Real Mailmen of New Jersey'

3. Customers can now pay with gas or grass

2. Take the Packers and give three and a half tomorrow night

1. Ten cent surcharge to deliver my hate mail — you'll make millions

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles She Loves You

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Long Tall Sally (Live) - The Beatles

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I Saw Her Standing There (Live) - The Beatles

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

NBA 2K: Indiana Pacers vs Houston Rockets (3 Overtimes-Game 3)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Krystal and Saagar: Epstein Docs UNSEALED, Bill Clinton, Prince Andrew, Dershowitz NAMED

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dave Chappelle Recalls His First Experience With Cancel Culture

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Disgusting DNC Committee Says HELL NO To Legal Weed & Medicare For All

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Emma Vigeland: Trump's Economy Has Worst US Quarter On Record

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Republican Governors' Approval Ratings TANK

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles - She Loves You

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles - One After 909 [Cavern Club, Liverpool, United Kingdom]

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Madden 20: Colts vs Chiefs (TDs Only)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

NBA 2K: Indiana Pacers vs Houston Rockets (Game 2)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Breonna Taylor: Who She Was, How She Died, Why Justice Is Overdue

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: DNC Blocks Medicare4All In Platform & Bernie Does Nothing!

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Krystal and Saagar: Bush Family CORRUPTION Revealed, Is Trump Getting Outplayed On China?

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Elvis Presley - Burning Love

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That Thing You Do! - The "Oneders" Go Up-Tempo (1996)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimi Hendrix - Johnny B Goode

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Clifford Brown - I'll remember april

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Clifford Brown - Oh, lady be good - Memories of you

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Marc Bolan - Jeepster

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Oasis - Sunday Morning Call (Acoustic Session)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Led Zeppelin - Rock and Roll 1973 Live

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Joan Baez Don't Think Twice, It's All Right

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Neil Young - A Day in the Life (Glastonbury Festival 2009)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jerry Lee Lewis - Good Golly Miss Molly / Tutti Frutti / Long Tall Sally

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Saagar Enjeti: Republicans EMBARRASS Themselves In Big Tech Hearings, Let Bezos Off Scot Free

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Krystal Ball: Dems, GOP Should Be Fired For Feeding Workers To Wolves

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first (You've got to be kidding me!)

September 2011

"The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first." –Jay Leno

"Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because 'the states could do a gooder job.'" –Jay Leno

"President Obama will give a big speech on job preservation – I mean job creation. The speech will be translated into Spanish and Chinese so that the people who have our jobs can understand." –Jay Leno

"Ford is building a new plant that will create 5,000 jobs in India. Or as Obama put it, 'You've got to be kidding me!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Sunday is the 10th anniversary of 9/11, which means it can only be another 5 years before we discover Saddam Hussein’s WMDs." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam (so there's a silver lining)

September 2011

"President Obama's approval rating is very low. But then again, his disapproval rating is very high, so there's a silver lining." –Jimmy Kimmel

"In what other job are you forced to hear how much people don't like you three times a week?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"During the Republican debate, every time they mentioned Ronald Reagan, I ate a jelly bean. And now I have type 2 diabetes." –Jimmy Kimmel

"This is the first debate Rick Perry has participated in since he announced his candidacy. Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and Yosemite W. Sam." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Sarah Palin ran an unannounced half marathon in Iowa. Wait, did she run a half marathon or run half a marathon and quit? Is there anything Sarah Palin can’t do half of?" –Jimmy Kimmel 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Lizard people are making alien vaccines? (I think she made sense)

July 2020

“A rightwing Pac-funded video in which a doctor inaccurately claimed that masks are ineffective against coronavirus because the real cure is the anti-malarial drug hydroxychloroquine. Numerous studies have debunked the drug as a treatment for coronavirus, and believe me, we all wish hydroxychloroquine actually worked. If hydroxychloroquine really worked, I’d take an Uber Pool to Times Square to get coughed on by a tourist just for old time’s sake. 

The video was viewed over 20 million times before Twitter flagged and removed it, but it has not disappeared; numerous Republican figures, including Trump’s son Don Jr, retweeted it or propagated its claims because they’ve failed on the pandemic response, and because they’re desperate for a magic fix that would make the crisis go away. 

Even worse, the doctor in the video, Stella Immanuel, has a long history of outlandish medical claims, such as that gynecological problems are caused by people having sex in their dreams with demons or witches, that alien DNA is used in medical treatments, and that some elected officials are ‘aliens or reptilian’. 

Who on Earth could possibly trust a doctor like this? Oh God, why’d I ask? Trump even praised Immanuel as ‘spectacular’ at the White House briefing on Tuesday. Trump later told reporters he was ‘very impressed with her and other doctors that stood with her. I think she made sense.’ 

Cool, so Trump won’t listen to the renowned infectious disease expert who actually works for him, but he loves the demon sperm lady. Just step back and consider how insane this is. The president can’t be bothered to focus on the things that actually work, like testing, contact tracing, isolation or mask-wearing, but if a crazy person posts a video claiming lizard people are making alien vaccines, his response is: ‘That’s interesting!’” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

DEVASTATING Ad Slams Trump's Authoritarianism

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: AOC Puts Biden & Party Ahead of People!

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

NHL 20: Clay Hat Trick vs Columbus

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I just hope they don’t stop wanding my inner thighs (Then he got back in his coffin)

September 2011

"Dick Cheney says Hillary Clinton would have made a better president than Barack Obama. Then he got back in his coffin." –David Letterman

"The Republican debate was on earlier tonight. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting and sexual dysfunction." –David Letterman

"Michele Bachmann is dropping rapidly in the polls. If she loses 3 more points she goes on 'Dancing with the Stars.'" –David Letterman

"Homeland Security is saying you may no longer have to remove your shoes when you fly. Welcome to the golden age of travel. I just hope they don’t stop wanding my inner thighs." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida (cleaning oil off ducks)

September 2011

"The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn't fit all eight of them in the bouncy house." –Conan O'Brien

"People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in Florida." –Conan O'Brien

"The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be cleaning oil off ducks." –Conan O'Brien

"To give an idea of how bad the economy is, the NFL had to borrow the quarter for the coin toss from China. And they want it back." –Conan O'Brien

"In Iowa Sarah Palin ran a half marathon and came in second place. Of course no one saw her do it, because she refused to tell anyone she was running." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It’s when Trump seems to be doing nothing that he’s at his most dangerous (So much winning!)

July 2020

“During the coronavirus lockdown in the US, the Trump administration has eased fuel-efficiency standards for new cars, frozen rules for soot air pollution, and leased public property to oil and gas companies. It’s when Trump seems to be doing nothing that he’s at his most dangerous. 

It’s like when your kids are upstairs and they’re super quiet for way too long – you know you’re about to wallpaper over some sharpie. The administration has continued to push anti-science policies despite the distraction of coronavirus, which disproportionately affects people of color, and derive from Trump’s longstanding denial of climate change.

Trump’s view that global warming is a hoax is one of the only stances he’s been consistent on. That, and there’s no such thing as a tie that’s too long. One of the administration’s biggest and most audacious deregulatory actions has been to gut the National Environmental Policy Act, a 50-year-old piece of legislation which requires federal agencies consider the environmental impact of infrastructure projects before they are approved, and allows residents to weigh in. 

Which demands our attention, especially in an election year. The Trump presidency will be over some day, but the sad reality is that the environmental effects will be permanent, and that becomes everyone’s problem.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

hydroxychloroquine – that old friend (Dr. Demon Sperm)

July 2020

“America’s rates of coronavirus cases continue to soar above those of other developed nations such as Canada, a dismal reality partly attributable to reports over the weekend of un-distanced ‘Covid parties’, church services without masks and a packed Chainsmokers concert in the Hamptons. 

Obviously, ordinary Americans should be taking this pandemic more seriously, but in their defense, it’s hard to do that when this is the guy who’s setting the tone from the top. Donald Trump’s retweeting earlier this week of a coronavirus conspiracy video inaccurately claiming hydroxychloroquine – that old friend – as a cure for the virus. 

Twitter subsequently flagged and removed the video, which featured Dr Stella Immanuel, a physician in Texas with, as reported by the Daily Beast, a long history of propagating bizarre, untruthful and anti-LGBTQ medical claims, such as that gynecological conditions like endometriosis are caused by people having sex in their dreams with witches or demons. 

Yes, despite having the world’s top doctors at his disposal. Trump has decided instead to trust a doctor who believes that people get sick because they masturbate and that vaccines are made from alien DNA. And by the way, whatever you do, please don’t start running around saying that African doctors are crazy. 

Immanuel was born in Cameroon and received her medical degree in Nigeria. This doctor, who’s from Africa, happens to be crazy. You can’t use her to judge all African doctors, the same way you wouldn’t want the world to judge America’s presidents based on one guy, would you? Basically, America has two choices right now. We can limit the spread of corona by following the science or listen to the advice of internet randos like Dr. Demon Sperm. —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”