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Saturday, November 2, 2019

maybe they don’t get HBO at the White House (rage-aholic golfers age 73 and up)


“And hey, do you really think it’s smart to attack veterans on Fox News? Veterans make up a pretty good chunk of your audience. I think it goes veterans, people visiting their elderly relatives, and rage-aholic golfers age 73 and up.” —Seth Meyers

“Somehow the Ukrainians managed to indoctrinate a toddler to use our potties and do their bidding to one day bring down the president of the United States.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The president and first lady were handing out candy. What kind of music do you play when you have a bunch of little kids coming over? That’s right — Michael Jackson. I guess — maybe they don’t get HBO at the White House.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“As you can see, Trump is dressed in the same unconvincing president costume he’s had on since 2016.” —James Corden

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”



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