“That’s right, a border wall in Colorado. Once they’re done with that, they’re building a naval base in Idaho.” --Stephen Colbert
“Then Trump announced our Coast Guard would be patrolling the ports of Nebraska, so that’s good.” --Jimmy Fallon
“Even worse, he’s going to make New Mexico pay for it.” --James Corden
“Now as a fellow comedian, I get what he’s doing here. Before you tell a joke, it’s very important to kick off the joke by saying ‘kiddingly.’” --Stephen Colbert
“Meanwhile, today at the White House, Trump participated in a ceremony in honor of the Hindu holiday Diwali. Things got off to a rough start when Trump told everyone, ‘We’re going to build Diwali in Colorado.’” --Jimmy Fallon
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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