Well, I could have told you that (Handsy Uncle, Maryland)

A new study lists the best city in the U.S. to raise a family as Moscow, Idaho. While the worst is once again Handsy Uncle, Maryland. --Colin Jost, SNL

Paramount has begun developing a new movie called Summer Nights, which will be a prequel to the classic movie Grease. A prequel that will finally explain why everyone in that high school was in their late 30s. --Colin Jost, SNL

And this Monday is tax day. So if you haven’t paid any taxes yet, you’re Amazon. --Colin Jost, SNL

In a recent study, scientists created 3-D scans of dolphin vaginas and found that a dolphin’s clitorus is remarkably similar to a human woman’s. Said the night janitor at SeaWorld, “Well, I could have told you that.” --Michael Che, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”