You could hear Hillary screaming, 'Don't tase me, bro!.' (Lil' Nation Builder)

"Are you folks worried about the economy? Stock market crumbling. Everybody's crazy about this. Don't worry.  George W. Bush says he's got something in mind to give it a shot in the arm. And if that doesn't work, Cheney is going to give it a shot in the face." --David Letterman

"During the argument between Obama and Clinton, security guards had to be brought in. You could hear Hillary screaming, 'Don't tase me, bro!.'" --David Letterman

"I don't know if you heard this or not but  Fred Thompson has dropped out of the presidential race. Don't worry about Fred, he can always go back to his prestigious fake law firm. Fred spent all day packing the bags under his eyes." --David Letterman