Or, as Senator Larry Craig calls it, 'the love seat.' (an excellent professor at Clown College)

"The government is thinking of considering charging every person who enters the United States a dollar to raise more money for border control agents. You know, we can't catch people sneaking across the border now. How are you gonna charge them a dollar? I got a better idea, why don't we charge American companies a buck for every job they send overseas?" --Jay Leno

"Today is the 171st birthday of the flush toilet. Or, as Senator  Larry Craig calls it, 'the love seat.'" --David Letterman

 "The Republican presidential hopefuls had another debate last night, this time in Florida. Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, he needs to win Florida because he hasn't done well anywhere else. I think I might know why he's not doing well. I believe that Giuliani's lack of success so far may have something to do with his facial expressions [on screen: a montage of strange Giuliani facial expressions]. He may not win the presidency, but he'll make an excellent professor at Clown College." --Jimmy Kimmel