And she says that so far he’s buying it! (Who are these people?)

Donald Trump will be sworn in as president this Friday at 12 noon. That’s when the big hand is on the 12, and the little hand is on the Bible. –Seth Meyers

Today was first lady Michelle Obama’s birthday. And for the eighth year in a row, an overexcited Joe Biden blew out her candles. –Seth Meyers

A Russian billionaire reportedly paid over $4 million to have Mariah Carey and Sir Elton John perform at his teenage granddaughter’s wedding. Said his teenage granddaughter, “Who are these people?” –Seth Meyers

A female zebra shark in Australia has shocked researchers by developing the ability to produce offspring asexually, after spending time away from her male partner. And she says that so far he’s buying it! –Seth Meyers