They said it was a pretty good speech for a foreigner

"The Republican response to the speech was fairly gracious. They said it was a pretty good speech for a foreigner." –Jimmy Kimmel



"A Washington Post columnist is proposing a 'Sarah-Palin-Free February,' a whole month in which she's not mentioned. This is stupid. Don't pick February, the shortest month." –Jay Leno



"For the State of the Union address last night, Republicans and Democrats sat next to each other, instead of on opposite sides. The press called it 'date night.' How come they go on a date, but we're the ones who get screwed." –Jay Leno