I read Bush's memoir, and I have to say, the book is way better than the Presidency

"Former President George W. Bush will be everywhere promoting the book. He's on the 'Today Show.' Going to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and tomorrow he'll be on the Rachael Ray Show, water-boarding the veal cutlets." –David Letterman

"No sir, I'm not going to read it until he reads it." –David Letterman

"President Bush told Matt Lauer the most embarrassing thing he ever did drunk was ask a friend of his parents what sex was like after 50. That's nothing. John McCain asked Sarah Palin to be his running mate when he was sober." –Jay Leno

"I read Bush's memoir, and I have to say, the book is way better than the Presidency." –Jimmy Fallon