"Arnold Schwarzenegger said being Governor of California cost him at least 200 million dollars in lost movie roles. Moviegoers everywhere said, 'Totally worth it.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Tom DeLay has done only two things since leaving politics – 'Dancing with the Stars,' and now prison. Somebody must tell him: there are easier ways to have sex with men." –Bill Maher
"In her video posted on her Facebook page, Sarah Palin condemned the media's coverage of the Arizona shootings by using the phrase 'blood libel,' which refers to a harsh anti-Semitic slur. And I would be super-offended if I thought she knew that." –Seth Meyers
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