"President Obama says he'll go to the Super Bowl if the Chicago Bears are playing in it. Sarah Palin says she'll go to the Super Bowl if actual bears are playing in it." –Jimmy Fallon
"New Speaker of the House John Boehner chose not to attend the dinner for Chinese President Hu. In China, they're calling him an orange chicken." –Jimmy Fallon
"Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's considering doing a movie in which he would play a Nazi. He says that after being governor of California, he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less." –Conan O'Brien
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