"Dick Cheney may need a new heart. I say we waterboard the Wizard of Oz." –Stephen Colbert
"Dick Cheney had to consult his physician today. Not for his heart. Every time the price of oil goes up more than $1 a barrel, Cheney gets an erection that lasts more than 4 hours." –Jay Leno
"Dick Cheney says he may need a heart transplant. I understand Halliburton has a no-bid contract to do the installation on it." –Jay Leno
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