but wished the lines were a billion times longer..

Disney revealed its plans for its upcoming resort and theme park in Shanghai, which will open next year. It’s great news for anyone who loves theme parks but wished the lines were a billion times longer. —Jimmy Fallon

In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said "Hey, she stole my speech."—Conan O’Brien

Trump’s winery makes two different kinds of wine: white wine and not-white wine

Earlier this week Donald Trump gave an interview with CNN at a winery he owns in Virginia. It turns out Trump’s winery makes two different kinds of wine: white wine and not-white wine.—Jimmy Fallon

Over on the Democratic side, Martin O’Malley recently spoke about the need for Wall Street reform and said that he isn’t running for president to be quote, “wined and dined” by executives. Then Chris Christie said, “And I am also not running to be wined.” —Jimmy Fallon

How much meth you would have to smoke to vote for Donald Trump?

That El Chapo is quite a character. A photo surfaced of El Chapo drinking a beer and flying a plane. Sounds like we have a new "Most interesting man in the world." —Conan O’Brien

A man in Colorado was driving with a cousin who refused to get out of the car. So he called the police and they found her in the car along with 16 pounds of meth. Isn't the first rule of having 16 pounds of meth in your car to never call the police? Sixteen pounds of meth. To put that in perspective, that's how much meth you would have to smoke to vote for Donald Trump. —James Corden

After severing ties with Donald Trump, NBC is reportedly in talks with comedian George Lopez to take over "Celebrity Apprentice." So Trump’s greatest nightmare came true. A Hispanic guy took his job.—Seth Meyers

He promised to bring that kind of leadership to the Oval Office

Presidential candidate Donald Trump had a meeting with Ted Cruz. He said he does not know why he agreed to fly to New York to meet Ted Cruz and then he promised to bring that kind of leadership to the Oval Office.—Conan O’Brien

There is now footage of the drug kingpin El Chapo changing his shoes right before his escape. Apparently authorities didn't notice El Chapo was lacing up a pair of Nike Tunnel Runners. It's a special brand they have. —Conan O’Brien

Trump had to wipe his mouth with a napkin instead of a 20

Some bad news for Donald Trump. The controversial remarks he’s made since he began his presidential campaign have cost his brand as much as $80 million. You can tell things are rough for Trump because today he had to wipe his mouth with a napkin instead of a 20. –Jimmy Fallon

With more and more states legalizing marijuana, companies are lining up to create the first marijuana breathalyzer. Officials say the toughest part is getting stoners to stop trying to inhale off the breathalyzer. –Jimmy Fallon

He’ll just leave us for a younger country

The New Horizons spacecraft made its long-awaited flyby of Pluto. It's been 10 years and $700 million in the making. People say they see all kinds of things in the new photo of Pluto. Some saw a heart shape or a flower. I don't know what to make of this but I saw a dad who is never quite proud enough of his son. It's probably meaningless. –James Corden

According to a new nationwide poll, Donald Trump now leads all other Republican presidential candidates. But come on, if we elect him you know he’ll just leave us for a younger country. –Seth Meyers

A new survey shows 30 percent of Americans believe legalizing marijuana will make driving less safe. Though marijuana users believe that legalization will make driving less likely. –Seth Meyers

The Nazis are furious

Iran is celebrating the nuclear deal. The Iranians are going crazy. They're drinking non-alcoholic champagne and thinking about dancing. That's how excited they are. –Conan O’Brien

Today Donald Trump's official Twitter account accidentally tweeted a photo of him that also had images of Nazis in it. The Nazis are furious. –Conan O’Brien