Sarah Palin moved to Arizona, and then the state burst into flames (and the other one’s Donald Duck)

"Delta Airlines charged our soldiers coming back from Afghanistan $2,800 excess baggage fees. Delta's new slogan: 'Screwing over the people who defend our right to screw you over.'" –Jay Leno



"Donald Duck & Donald Trump are very different of course. One’s a noisy cartoon character with a feathery a** and the other one’s Donald Duck." –Craig Ferguson



"There a giant fire burning in Arizona, the biggest fire ever in the history of the state. I'm not saying these two things are connected, but a few weeks ago Sarah Palin moved to Arizona, and then the state burst into flames." –Bill Maher 



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He said it's a total housekeeper magnet

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has not taken off his wedding ring. When asked why, he said it's a total housekeeper magnet." –Conan O'Brien 



"Sarah Palin is going to London to try to meet with Margaret Thatcher, who's made it clear she won't meet with her. Palin went, 'Who told her I was coming? Was it Paul Revere again?'" –Jay Leno


"The Chairman of the Republican Party Ed Cox said that he would use the incriminating pictures from Anthony Weiner to defeat him. So now we have Cox versus Weiner. This just doesn't stop!" –Jay Leno


John Hulse photography

Mitt Romney: I'm Good For Your Brain!

"Delta Airlines has a new slogan, 'Come fly the greedy skies.' This is unbelievable; Delta Airlines is in trouble now after they charged our U.S. soldiers coming back from Afghanistan $2,800 because they had extra baggage. If the TSA isn't grabbing your ass, delta's grabbing your wallet. It's unbelievable." –Jay Leno



"A new study found that being bored can be good for your brain. Which explains that new campaign slogan, 'Mitt Romney: I'm Good For Your Brain.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"A woman in Florida called 911 after she found a bear swimming in her backyard pool. That's right, there was a bear in the water. Or as Sarah Palin calls that, 'soup.'" –Jimmy Fallon

John Hulse painting

His lovely nieces, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Gadhafi

"Happy birthday to Moammar Gadhafi who is 60 years old. He had a big party and was visited by his lovely nieces, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Gadhafi." –David Letterman

"Prince William and his wife Kate have posted an ad for a housekeeper. When he heard this, Arnold Schwarzenegger said, 'So it looks like they do want to start a family.'" –Conan O'Brien 



"The Chinese economy has shown signs of slowing down. Experts say that's what happens when your workforce starts to enter its teens." –Conan O'Brien 


John Hulse painting 


What about Mrs. Paul Revere and her fish sticks?

"Donald Trump and Sarah Palin met and had pizza together in New York City last week. There was one embarrassing moment — when the waitress asked Donald if he wanted extra topping and he said, 'No, my hair is fine.'" –Jay Leno



"When the economy is bad, it means budget cuts and teacher layoffs. That means the next generation won't even know as much about American history as Sarah Palin." –Jay Leno



"Sarah Palin came under fire for her statements about Paul Revere, and today she made it worse. She said, 'What about Mrs. Paul Revere and her fish sticks?'" –Jay Leno

John Hulse painting

An American drone? Isn't that Mitt Romney?

"That’s right, Michelle Obama is taking Sasha and Malia to South Africa and Botswana and Sarah Palin was like, 'Wow, they’re going to all the places Paul Revere went.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"It’s the anniversary of D-Day. Or, as Sarah Palin calls it, the day that Paul Revere warned the Americans that the Danish were coming." –Jay Leno


"Osama bin Laden's successor was taken out by an American drone. An American drone? Isn't that Mitt Romney?" –David Letterman



John Hulse painting

And also because it was sent to a woman...

"Mitt Romney started to stick it to Obama right away. He said, 'We are only inches away from ceasing to be a free market economy.' What?! If he’s going to lie this hard on day one, what’s he going to say in six months? Obama is kidnapping our white women and feeding them to King Kong." –Bill Maher, on Mitt Romney's presidential campaign announcement



"Mitt Romney wanted to get the maximum exposure for his (presidential) announcement so he made it in Anthony Weiner's underpants." –Bill Maher



"Anthony Weiner pledges to get to the bottom of this. He's asked for an investigation, the police are involved, he's got a dick lawyer he's hired. They know it is a Democrat's penis because it won't stand up. And also because it was sent to a woman." –Bill Maher



"Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school." –Bill Maher, on Sarah Palin's botched explanation of Paul Revere's midnight ride