Did you bring a kangaroo? (I've forgotten who ties up whom)

We’re now a week away from the Super Tuesday primaries and Ben Carson’s so excited he barely got 14 hours of sleep last night. –Seth Meyers

According to a new book, President Trump and First Lady Melania were seen at Mar-A-Lago on Thanksgiving holding hands and "kissing as if nobody else existed." Meyers as Trump, "That was Melania?" --Seth Meyers

A new report projects that by 2020 the legal marijuana industry will create more than a quarter of a million jobs for people to be late to. –Seth Meyers

President Trump met today with the chancellor of Austria. Meyers as Trump, "Did you bring a kangaroo?" --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The highest activity a human being can attain is.. (Did you bring a kangaroo?)

The Bernie Sanders campaign has announced that in the first 12 hours after launching his presidential bid, Sanders raised more than $4 million in donations, which is great for Sanders. Great for Sanders, but terrible for the guy behind him at Coin Star. --Seth Meyers

President Trump met today with the chancellor of Austria. Meyers as Trump, "Did you bring a kangaroo?" --Seth Meyers

State officials in New York have approved a new plan that will surround part of Staten Island with a 5.3-mile-long seawall to protect it from flooding and to protect the rest of New York from Staten Island. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong (he winked so hard his neck got smooth)

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell today warned Russia to not meddle in the upcoming midterm elections, and then he winked so hard his neck got smooth. --Seth Meyers

In honor of World Emoji Day, Apple has announced it's adding cupcake, kangaroo, and lettuce symbols. A cupcake, a kangaroo, and lettuce, or as Outback Steakhouse calls it, a salad. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”