You know how long it's going to take people to finish The New York Times crossword puzzle NOW? (his friends and his families)

July 2014

"The New York Times published its first of a six-part series that calls for federal legalization of marijuana. You remember newspapers, those things we used to read before BuzzFeed asked us which sandwich we were." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The Times editorial board argued, after weighing the pros and cons, that the scale tips in favor of legalizing marijuana nationwide. You know how long it's going to take people to finish The New York Times crossword puzzle NOW?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"It's Arnold Schwarzenegger's birthday. Arnold celebrated quietly at home with his friends and his families." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

U.S. senator is job she's always dreamed of resigning from

"And then the other day in the summation, the defense lawyer said George Zimmerman had nothing put 'pure unadulterated innocence.' That's right, he played the 'my client is a moron card.' I know we can't talk about race in this trial, but now we have to have code words for idiot? If his pants are full of shit, you must acquit.'" –Bill Maher



"If we're going to leave with one lesson from this whole assorted affair it's to leave police work to the actual police. They're the ones who are trained in shooting unarmed black kids." –Bill Maher



"Sarah Palin said she may run for the Senate. She said being a U.S. senator is job she's always dreamed of resigning from." –Bill Maher



Those drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they?

"Now that marijuana is legal in the state of Colorado, in Denver they're talking about taxing it up to 35 percent. Suddenly those drug cartels don't seem so greedy anymore, do they?" –Jay Leno



"People in Florida are pretty worried about the Zimmerman acquittal. They're trying so hard to get black people to stay in their homes, it looks like election day down there." –Bill Maher



"Their defense is that George Zimmerman is weak and stupid. That's their whole defense, that's such a pussy that in a fight a gun was his only chance. They put an expert on the stand that said he was an out of shape doughy loser than was completely inept at self defense – just the kind of guy you want to have on your neighborhood watch." –Bill Maher