Why not just ask the Republicans? They'll tell you what to do (I watched it a couple days ago on WikiLeaks)

"Apparently the president couldn't decide whether to put white Christmas lights or red and green Christmas lights up. Why not just ask the Republicans? They'll tell you what to do." –Craig Ferguson

"Thousands of people turned out to see President Obama's Christmas tree lighting. I knew it would be beautiful. I watched it a couple days ago on WikiLeaks." –Craig Ferguson

"Maroon 5 played at the tree lighting. They were a big deal a couple years ago. Sort of like President Obama." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

but we have something here in Los Angeles that is just as bad (plus I give you a ride to the airport)

Due to frigid temperatures, railroad tracks in Chicago were set on fire today in order to keep trains running smoothly. While in New York, we have no idea why our train tracks are on fire. --Seth Meyers

The big story story in the midwest is the polar vortex, but we have something here in Los Angeles that is just as bad. Moderate rain. --Conan O’Brien

To play during halftime at the Super Bowl, they got Maroon 5. That’s because Maroon 1 through 4 said, No. --Conan O’Brien

The Super Bowl ads cost the most ever this year. The ads cost $5 Million. That’s around $175,000 per second. To put that in perspective, a 30 second commercial on the Conan O’Brien show cost $200, plus I give you a ride to the airport. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It was the judge this whole time! (National Punctuation Day)

At a campaign rally on Friday, President Trump defended Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, saying, "He was born for the position." What position — surprise villain in a "Law & Order" episode? "It was the judge this whole time!" --Seth Meyers

Today was National Punctuation Day, and hopefully Bill Cosby is celebrating with a really long sentence. --Seth Meyers

According to reports, rapper Cardi B is in talks to perform with Maroon 5 at this year's Super Bowl halftime show. So if you like Cardi B and you also like Maroon 5, you're trying way too hard to connect with your kids. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”