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Showing posts with label Kosovo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kosovo. Show all posts

Monday, March 27, 2017

So, who gets those delegates? (bad apples)


"But I'm not buying this. I don't believe this story. I think this is a cynical attempt by the McCain campaign to make their candidate appear youthful and vigorous. I think they made the whole thing up and filtered it through the New York Times. You know, just like Bush did with the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Because there's no real evidence to this story. Yes, a lot of people saw McCain going around with a cheap blond in a slinky dress, but they figured it was Rudy Giuliani." --Bill Maher

 "The province of Kosovo on Sunday declared independence from Serbia. Prompting Hillary Clinton to ask, 'So, who gets those delegates?'" --Bill Maher



Thursday, March 23, 2017

this is the only way we can be sure that the New England Patriots never win a Super Bowl again



"Well, congratulations to the new nation of Kosovo. They gained their independence this week. Of course, President Bush was shocked when he heard this. He said: 'Independence? But, we haven't even invaded them yet.'" --Jay Leno

"Have you heard about this phenomenon that keeps happening at Barack Obama rallies? Apparently women have been fainting. They're so taken by his speeches that they're passing out. Well, today it happened at one of Hillary's speeches, and luckily Bill ran into the crowd and gave her mouth to mouth." --Jay Leno

"Sometime this week, the Pentagon will attempt to shoot down a spy satellite up in space. The government said this is the only way we can be sure that the New England Patriots never win a Super Bowl again." --Jay Leno