"Because of the government shutdown, the White House is under attack – by squirrels. They've invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. Michelle Obama planted a garden to show how easy it is to grow your own food. All you need is water, sunlight, and 50 full-time federal employees." –Craig Ferguson
'A lot of people got mad when Michelle Obama expanded the White House garden. That just shows you some people don't know their history. When Eleanor Roosevelt grew a garden, it was a 'victory garden.' But when Michelle Obama does it, it's a 'communist plot.'" –Craig Ferguson
"When I first heard the White House was under attack by freaky rodents, I thought, 'What's Ann Coulter done now?'" –Craig Ferguson
"This kind of thing would never have happened under George W. Bush because Dick Cheney would have been on the White House lawn blasting the squirrels with a shotgun." –Craig Ferguson
"There was a Columbus Day parade here in New York City. Columbus thought he landed in India. Instead he landed in the Bahamas. If he were alive today he'd be running an Italian cruise ship." –David Letterman
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
