President Trump warmed up the crowd by shoving a toddler (Well, he sounds innocent to me)

Republicans are planning to keep the results of the Brett Kavanaugh investigation a secret and store them in a locked vault. Well, he sounds innocent to me. --Conan O’Brien

At a rally in Mississippi the other day President Trump mocked Brett Kavanaugh’s accuser Christine Ford. Now as usual President Trump warmed up the crowd by shoving a toddler. --Conan O’Brien

Here in Los Angeles a home robbery gang is targeting celebrities. Police have assured me that I’m safe. --Conan O’Brien

Hollywood leading man Christian Bale is playing Dick Cheney in an upcoming movie. Apparently the casting was done by Dick Cheney. --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

Healthcare experts say it's perfect for anyone who likes to panic in the comfort of their own home (something I have in common with Brett Kavanaugh)

You can now take at-home STD tests. Healthcare experts say it's perfect for anyone who likes to panic in the comfort of their own home. --Jimmy Fallon

Everybody is still talking about the big Kavanaugh-Blasey Ford hearing yesterday. One assumes. I don't know. I actually taped this monologue yesterday, which means I can't tell you what happened regarding Brett Kavanaugh — which, based on his drinking, seems to be something I have in common with Brett Kavanaugh. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

but since it was coming from a woman, Grassley didn't believe her (Out of habit, Kavanaugh brought a keg)

The nation was gripped today by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's emotional testimony on Capitol Hill against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. As Dr. Ford was speaking, Brett Kavanaugh was reportedly preparing for his own testimony in Vice President Mike Pence's office. Out of habit, Kavanaugh brought a keg. --James Corden

You know you're radioactive when even President Trump was like, "Uh, yeah, I'm busy. Maybe go hang around with Mike." --James Corden

At one point, Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley interrupted and talked over Sen. Dianne Feinstein. Sen. Feinstein said it was her turn to speak, but since it was coming from a woman, Grassley didn't believe her. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

mid-way through the flight, Trump tried stepping outside to get some air (his schedule already said, "Watch TV all day.")

Today was the big Senate hearing for President Trump's Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, and his accuser, Dr. Christine Blasey Ford. Trump said he was clearing his schedule to watch on TV, then realized his schedule already said, "Watch TV all day." --Jimmy Fallon

Trump watched the hearing while flying on Air Force One. You could tell is wasn't going well, 'cause mid-way through, Trump tried stepping outside to get some air. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

There are female lawyers? (The Lyin' King)

The Republican senators were very careful with Dr. Ford. In fact, they were too scared to even question her. They hired a surrogate, a female prosecutor from Arizona. No kidding. They brought her in to do it for them. The way they found this prosecutor is very interesting. Sen. Chuck Grassley, the chairman of the judiciary committee, didn't like the optics of 11 Republican men questioning one woman so one of his aides suggested, "Why don't you hire a female lawyer to ask the questions?" And Grassley was like, "There are female lawyers?" --Jimmy Kimmel

Melania Trump has the right idea. With everything that's going on, she's getting the hell out of town. Our first lady is headed overseas next week as part of her "Be as Far Away From My Husband as Possible" campaign. She's going to Africa. Melania feels a strong connection to Africa because she's married to the Lyin' King. --Jimmy Kimmel

Did you know that today is Google's 20th anniversary? It's true —Google it. Traditional gift for a 20th anniversary is china. Unfortunately, Google is banned in China, so we can't do that. --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”