She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney (this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash)

"But here's the lesson in the Eliot Spitzer case, ladies and gentlemen, this is why I always wear a fake mustache and pay cash." --David Letterman

"Former President Bill Clinton spoke at the convention last night. And it was sort of sad when in the middle of Clinton’s speech, John McCain wandered out on stage in his bathrobe." --David Letterman

"Did you know what happened on Saturday? Miss America pageant. The winner, our new Miss America, her name is Kirsten Haglund. Congratulations to her. And she is from Michigan. And she's beautiful. She's the prettiest thing to come out of Michigan since Mitt Romney." --David Letterman

"This kind of thing usually happens once or twice a summer down in Washington. Yesterday, a guy hopped the fence at the White House. Pretty scary. Thank god at the last minute Dick Cheney picked him off. And then, today, another guy was arrested for trying to climb Condoleezza Rice." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”