‘Well, I wouldn’t say reported,’ said the IRS. (as long as that body be bangin’)

The makers of Barbie have announced the first ever Barbie with hearing aids. It teaches an important lesson. It doesn’t matter if you’re deaf, as long as that body be bangin’. —Colin Jost

New York City officials say that they have received over 7,000 rat sightings here in New York. So everybody look under your seat! —Colin Jost

The Trump International Hotel in Washington D.C. has been sold for a reported $375 Million. ‘Well, I wouldn’t say reported,’ said the IRS. —Colin Jost

The Oklahoma City Zoo announced that a 14 year old endangered chimpanzee named Naia is pregnant. Said the zoo’s janitor, ‘She told me she was 18!.’ —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”