Oh, you misunderstood. We're shooting peasants (You lost me at 2,000 pages . . . and lost me again at Don Jr.)

Dunkin' Donuts is celebrating the Royal wedding by offering a heart-shaped donut, and Chili's is offering special burger-inspired hats. Which explains our new slogan: "America: We Don't Understand Royalty." --Jimmy Fallon

“It was reported recently that Prince Harry will opt out of the royal family's annual pheasant shoot due to his wife Meghan Markle's love of animals. Said Queen Elizabeth, "Oh, you misunderstood. We're shooting peasants." --Jimmy Fallon

Today over 2,000 pages of testimony were released about the 2016 meeting between Donald Trump Jr. and a Russian lawyer. The president heard and was like, "You lost me at 2,000 pages . . . and lost me again at Don Jr." --Jimmy Fallon

Two people in Arkansas were arrested for stealing $5,000 worth of Little Debbie snack cakes. They were charged with theft and I assume possession of weed. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”