Putin immediately put it out because he thought it was too flaming (a few other things he believes are sloppy)

February 2014

"Today, the Olympic torch arrived in Sochi. But Vladimir Putin immediately put it out because he thought it was too flaming." –Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea admitted the band faked playing during the Super Bowl. In his defense, so did the Broncos." –Conan O'Brien

"The Russians have spent $51 billion on the Olympics – $51 billion. With that kind of money the Yankees could buy themselves a mediocre player." –David Letterman

"The Olympics are set to begin on Friday but construction crews in Sochi are still racing to complete work on everything from roads to hotels. When asked to explain the delays Vladimir Putin admitted that in retrospect it was a mistake to fire his construction foreman for being gay." –David Letterman

"The Russians are not ready. You heard it here first. They are not ready for the Olympics. You know, I'm blaming it on Obamacare." –David Letterman

"New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is indignant at the New York Times for its sloppy reporting about the Bridge-Gate scandal. The governor also took the opportunity to highlight a few other things he believes are sloppy: Meatloaf with gravy, nachos, barbecue ribs, meat-lovers pizza, buffalo wings, hot-fudge sundaes and chili dogs." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”