“Donald Trump posted a rambling message on his website ahead of the holiday weekend on Thursday evening which read, ‘I’m sorry to say the gas prices that you will be confronted with are far higher than they were just a short number of months ago,’ referring to the season-high number of travelers on Memorial Day weekend. The former president also ranted, without facts, about America’s energy production – ‘Wasn’t it great to be energy independent, but we are energy independent no more. Shame, shame, shame’ – and admonished Americans to ‘remember as you’re watching the meter tick, and your dollars pile up, how great of a job Donald Trump did as president.’ He’s just a crazy old man shouting at pigeons now. He seems to have forgotten that the reason gas prices were low was because we had no place to go, we had nowhere to drive. There was a terrible virus killing our grandparents – ‘When I was president, we spent money on porn stars, not gasoline!’” —Jimmy Kimmel
“With spikes in the number of weekend travelers for the holiday, the TSA has warned to expect long lines at the airport. It had been so long since mass travel, that I was even excited for security checks. When that wand touches my inner thigh, I’m going to look that agent right in the eye and say, ‘I missed you too, big guy, I really did.’” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Joe Biden has been president for four months, which means it’s time to start talking about the 2024 presidential election. The frontrunner for the GOP, so much as there is one, remains the former president, who reportedly intends to run again ‘so long as he still has a good bill of health’, according to Politico. What? That’s crazy! In 2024, he’ll be 78 years old, which is exactly how old Joe Biden is right now. But according to Politico, Republicans officials are hoping to replicate Trump’s appeal in a candidate without the baggage of two impeachments, a Capitol riot he stoked, groundless challenges to his election loss and the big lie of voter fraud. But those are all his secret ingredients. That’s like taking away the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices – with both guys, all you’d have left is a chicken-loving old man who reminds you of the Confederacy.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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