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Monday, May 13, 2019

But tragically, no one filmed it (and only on its husband’s birthday)

Scientists are saying that in order to meet the world’s demand for meat, they are exploring the possibility of eating maggots, locusts, and other bugs, or hear me out, salad. Eat a salad. --Michael Che, SNL
Pope Francis met with more than 200 Italian Catholic hairstylists and warned them about the temptation of gossip in beauty salons. Especially when that gossip is, did you hear what happened to those alter boys? --Colin Jost, SNL
An Arizona woman suffered more than 200 bee stings after a heavy wind blew a beehive onto her head. But tragically, no one filmed it. --Michael Che, SNL
Scientists have discovered a new species of jellyfish with a transient anus that appears only when it needs to expel waste and only on its husband’s birthday. --Colin Jost, SNL
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”



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