Following reports that President Trump carried on an affair with a porn star shortly after the birth of his youngest son, the head of the conservative Family Research Council said in a new interview that Trump deserves a “do-over.” OK, but I doubt she’d still be into it. --Seth Meyers
According to Vanity Fair, White House staffers have nicknamed Chief of Staff John Kelly “the Church Lady.” And Steve Bannon lives in a van, down by the river. --Seth Meyers
Rum maker Bacardi announced yesterday that it is acquiring Patron Spirits for $5.1 billion. And like most Bacardi announcements, it was shouted at 5 a.m. in the back seat of an Uber. --Seth Meyers
The Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first cleaning since its construction in the 1600s. “Maybe we should do that,” said New York. --Seth Meyers
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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