James and the Guilty Orange (to see if she was a witch)

Happy St. Comey’s Day, everybody! Of course, everybody celebrates Comey Day if their own way. We’re kind of traditionalists around here. We celebrated by watching TV and writing jokes as fast as we can. –Stephen Colbert

Everybody was looking forward to the former FBI director testifying about all the juicy details of his meetings with Donald Trump. Because, remember, Comey wrote everything down. And all his memos are going to be collected in his new children’s book: “James and the Guilty Orange.” –Stephen Colbert

Comey understood Trump had the right to fire him, but he didn’t buy the official explanation — that it was how he treated candidate Hillary Clinton. “That didn’t make sense to me for a whole bunch of reasons, including the time and all the water that had gone under the bridge since those hard decisions had to be made.” I remember that bridge. I think it’s the one they threw Hillary off to see if she was a witch. –Stephen Colbert

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