"Roger
Clemens denied before Congress that he was ever injected with steroids or human
growth hormones. Then he gave himself away when he asked for a pillow to sit on
during the rest of his testimony." --Jay Leno
"How
about the presidential race? Hillary
Clinton is trailing Barack Obama. Indications
are she getting a little nervous, maybe a little desperate. Earlier today, she
showed up wearing a painted-on pantsuit." --David Letterman
"Have
you been watching the Roger Clemens congressional hearings? He denies being
injected by his trainer. But what I thought was interesting was every time they
mentioned 'buttocks,' Sen. Larry
Craig swooned." --David Letterman
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