Russia may have
trouble getting athletes to compete in the 2018 Olympics after their big doping
scandal. People were confused — they were like, “You can rig an ELECTION, but
not a urine test?” –Jimmy Fallon
Defense Secretary
James “Mad Dog” Mattis said climate change is real and threatening global
stability. He then asked that his nickname be changed to “Reasonable Dog.”
–Conan O’Brien
Rachel Maddow’s
much-hyped release of Donald Trump’s 2005 tax returns last night was considered
by many to be a letdown. No one’s been this disappointed by Rachel Maddow since
the guy who took her to the prom. –Conan O’Brien
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