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Tuesday, February 7, 2017

JOKES: I plan to eat most of you by November (How furious would Oprah be?)



"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton locked horns for a debate that was broadcast on CNN. The tone was much more friendly than their last meeting. In fact, they even shared a room together afterwards. That would be great revenge on Bill for Monica Lewinsky -- Barack and Hillary making sweet, hot, post-debate love. How furious would Oprah be?" --Jimmy Kimmel

 "Ted Kennedy is here. He's in East L.A. this morning campaigning for Obama. Apparently, I'm not kidding, Ted Kennedy is very popular in the Latino community, and here's why [on screen: Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) speaking in Spanish]. My Spanish is not perfect, but I believe in English that translates to 'I am fat and I plan to eat most of you by November.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

 "I asked my daughter who she liked for president today. She told me she likes Obama because he has big ears like Will Smith. You know, ear size is one of the key issues with young people nowadays." --Jimmy Kimmel


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