"Barack Obama and Hillary
Clinton locked horns for a debate that was broadcast on CNN. The
tone was much more friendly than their last meeting. In fact, they even shared
a room together afterwards. That would be great revenge on Bill for Monica Lewinsky
-- Barack and Hillary making sweet, hot, post-debate love. How furious would
Oprah be?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"Ted Kennedy is here. He's in East
L.A. this morning campaigning for Obama. Apparently, I'm not kidding, Ted Kennedy
is very popular in the Latino community, and here's why [on screen: Sen. Ted
Kennedy (D-MA) speaking in Spanish]. My Spanish is not perfect, but I believe
in English that translates to 'I am fat and I plan to eat most of you by
November.'" --Jimmy Kimmel
"I asked my daughter who she liked
for president today. She told me she likes Obama because he has big ears like
Will Smith. You know, ear size is one of the key issues with young people
nowadays." --Jimmy Kimmel
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