Last night,
Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim actor to win an Oscar. Or as the Trump
White House reported it, “Muslim Wields Heavy Blunt Object.” –Jimmy Fallon
As I’m sure you
know, “La La Land” was announced the winner of Best Picture, before it was
revealed that there was a mix-up with the envelopes, and “Moonlight” was the
actual winner. When this happened I bet Hillary Clinton was like, “Yeah, welcome
to my world.” –James Corden
Warren Beatty and
Faye Dunaway were the presenters that announced the wrong film. Basically they
were the Sean Spicers of the Oscars. –James Corden
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