"Big
night for John McCain.
He has been taking his 95-year-old mother along with him in his campaign bus.
None of the other candidates are traveling with their mothers, but Bill Clinton is traveling
with several MILFs." --Conan O'Brien
"Hillary
Clinton is having money problems. To keep her campaign alive, she
had to spend $5 million of her family's money. Bill Clinton was very
upset. Five million dollars is two months at the strip club. He said,
"Damn it Hillary I want that money back and I want it in singles."
--Craig Ferguson
"Super Tuesday elections yesterday.
I had the worst trouble with the machines. I kept yanking on the lever. One
time, I turned the whole thing over. I like to go in there and take off my
pants. I hold them outside the curtain and say, "You got these in a 38?
This time, I pull the lever and a Snickers bar comes out." --David
Letterman
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