Good news, the five-year drought is over. That’s right — last night, I had sex

Good news, the five-year drought is over. That’s right — last night, I had sex. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump has named 72-year-old Rudy Giuliani to be his adviser on cybersecurity. Trump explained, “I’m not up to speed on the latest technology, so I wanted to get somebody two years older.” –Conan O’Brien

I’m kidding, he tweeted about it. He thanked Linda Bean for her support and then he commands everybody to buy L.L. Bean. I for one am shocked that the co-owner of a company founded by a hunter, to sell hunting boots to other hunters, would come out in favor of a Republican. –Conan O’Brien